英検準1級 Writing対策 生徒様の解答と修正点

英検準1級

 

 

今回は英検準1級対策の生徒様とのレッスン内容をご紹介します。

試験まで残り1週間! 頑張っていきましょう。

 

  • お題
  • 生徒様の解答
  • 修正点
  • まとめ

 

この順番で見ていきます。



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今回のお題

 

お題とポイントはこちらです。

Is marriage becoming less important today than it was in the past?

POINTS
●Women
●Pressure
●Children
●Health

 

生徒様の解答を見ていきましょう。

 

生徒様の解答

 

生徒様の解答です。

I think marriage is becoming less important today than it was in the past. I have two reasons.

First of all, recently womens’ motivation to works are increasing and women are working harder than before. They think that working is more important for them to live than getting married. Therefore women are difficult to take care of their children, and working at the same time.

Secondly, the number of men and women getting married is decreasing.
This I’d because,in the past, there was a belief that it was wonderful to have a family, and some parents pressured their children to get married, but it is decreasing.

In conclusion, because of these reasons, I think marriage is becoming less important today than in the past. (126words)

 

いかがでしょうか^^?

 

修正点を直していきましょう。



修正点

 

最初に、修正後の文を見ていきましょう。

 

どこが違うか見比べながら読んでください^^。

I think marriage is becoming less important today than it was in the past. I have two reasons.

First of all, recently women’s motivation to work is increasing and women are working harder than before. They think that working is more important for them to live than getting married. Therefore, women are difficult to take care of their children, and to work at the same time.

Secondly, the number of men and women getting married is decreasing.

In the past, there was a belief that it was wonderful to have a family, and some parents pressured their children to get married. But it usually costs a lot to become a family and make children. This is why people nowadays don’t want to get married.

In conclusion, because of these reasons, I think marriage is becoming less important today than in the past. (144words)

いかがでしょうか^^。

 

First of all, recently women’s motivation to work is increasing and women are working harder than before. They think that working is more important for them to live than getting married. Therefore, women are difficult to take care of their children, and to work at the same time.

 

1つめの理由から見ていきましょう。

to works
to work

worksを複数形で使う場合は、「工場、工事」の意味になります。

なのでここはto不定詞を使用して、「働くことへの、女性のモチベーション」となるように修正しました。

 

to take care of their children, and working at the same time.
to take care of their children and to work at the same time.
andで2つの文を並列したい場合は、どちらも同じ形の文型を使ってあげましょう。
初めがto take care から始まっているので、後ろのworkingも to workと修正しました。

 

 

2つめの文は修正しました。

  1. 抽象的
  2. それから具体的

これを覚えて、まず抽象的に「結婚率は年々減少している」と書きます。

そのあと、「なぜ減少しているのか?」の具体的な部分が抜けていたので、「家族になることや子供を作ることはお金がかかる」という懸念を足しました。

 

 

ですがここまで書くことができたら合格点です。

いつも宿題頑張ってくれてありがとうございます^^。



まとめ

 

いかがでしたでしょうか。

 

英検は一次試験が終わり、二次試験に向けて皆さん頑張っています。

 

次年度の英検対策、随時募集中です。

お気軽にコメント欄にてご相談ください^^。

 

 

それでは本日も読んでいただきありがとうございました。

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