【英検2級ライティング対策】実際に解いた生徒さんの解答・修正・解説”Some people say that more apartment buildings should allow pets such as dogs and cats. Do you agree with this opinion?”
Some people say that more apartment buildings should allow pets such as dogs and cats. Do you agree with this opinion?
そしてポイントは以下の3つです。
・Cleanliness
・Lifestyles
・Neighbors
※語数の目安は80－100語です。
あなたの意見とポイントのテーマを2つ使用して、理由を書きましょう。
皆さんならどう書きますか?
生徒様の解答
生徒様の解答はこちらです。
I think don’t that more apartment buildings should allow such as dogs and cats. I have two reasons for this.
First reason is that if we buy the pet it will be not cleanliness. For example if dog play in the room hair came out. and room will be darty.
Second reason is that anoing to nebar. For example if dog bark and bite at people and if people don’t like dog it is anoing.
For this two reasons I don’t agree with this opinion.
(85words)
選んだポイントは、こちらです。
・Cleanliness
・Lifestyles
・Neighbors
3単元やスペルミス、細かなミスが目立ちますので、修正して試験に備えましょう＾＾。
修正文
模範解答を見てみましょう。
I think don’t that more apartment buildings should allow pets such as dogs and cats. I have two reasons.
First reason is that if we buy the pet, it will not be clean. For example, if a dog plays in the room, his hair will come out and the room will be dirty.
Second reason is that pets annoy neighbor. For example, if dogs bark and bite people and if they don’t like dogs, it is annoying.
For these two reasons I don’t agree with this opinions.
(90words)
1つずつ見ていきましょう＾＾。
1つめの理由
1つめの理由から見ていきましょう。
First reason is that if we buy the pet it will be not cleanliness. For example if dog play in the room hair came out. and room will be darty.
First reason is that if we buy the pet, it will not be clean. For example, if a dog plays in the room, his hair will come out and the room will be dirty.
notの位置
まず注目したいところが、notの位置です。
× will be not
〇 will not be
こちらが正しい順番です。
並列の文は時制を合わせる
日本語で見ればスッと理解できるはずです。
if dog play in the room hair came out. and room will be darty.
「もし犬が部屋で遊べば、毛が落ちた。そして(これから)部屋が汚れる。」
時制があっちに行ったりこっちに戻ってきたりしているので、整理すると以下の文になります。
if a dog plays in the room, his hair will come out and the room will be dirty.
「もし犬が部屋で遊べば、毛が落ちて部屋が汚れる。」
日本語も自然な文ですよね＾＾。
時制はしっかり合わせることを意識しましょう。
2つめの理由
2つめの理由にいきます。
Second reason is that anoing to nebar. For example if dog bark and bite at people and if people don’t like dog it is anoing.
Second reason is that pets annoy neighbor. For example, if dogs bark and bite people and if they don’t like dogs, it is annoying.
that の後ろは
Second reason is that の that の後ろは、文を置く必要があります。
×anoing to nebar.
〇pets annoy neighbor.
主語を明確に書いて文にすることが大切です。
biteは他動詞
biteは他動詞ですので、動詞の後ろにすぐ名詞を置きましょう。
× bite at people
〇 bite people
文の切れ目はどこ？
“if dog bark and bite at people and if people don’t like dog it is anoing.”
こちらの文ですが、切れ目がどこか分かりづらいです。
解説しながら修正していきましょう。
if dogs bark and bite people and if they don’t like dogs,
(もし犬が人にほえたりかみついたり、そして彼らが犬が嫌いなら、)
ここまでがifから始まる従属節です。
ここでカンマが必要となってきます。
このカンマがとても重要です。
if dogs bark and bite people and if they don’t like dogs,(←カンマ必須)
(もし犬が人にほえたりかみついたり、それでその人たちが犬が嫌いなら、)
it is annoying.
(とても迷惑だ。)
スペルもしっかり確認しましょう。
最後にもう一度
最後に、修正した文をもう一度見てみましょう。
音読すると、理解度アップするのでぜひ試してください＾＾。
I think don’t that more apartment buildings should allow pets such as dogs and cats. I have two reasons.
First reason is that if we buy the pet, it will not be clean. For example, if a dog plays in the room, his hair will come out and the room will be dirty.
Second reason is that pets annoy neighbor. For example, if dogs bark and bite people and if they don’t like dogs, it is annoying.
For these two reasons I don’t agree with this opinions.
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